Life is Precious

We almost never know what may happen in life-good or bad. Yeah, we can plan for some things, and we can have some power over other things happening, but the one thing we can never control are the thoughts, behaviors, and feelings of others. We sometimes get disappointed when others don’t behave or respond the way we’d like them to. In that case, mostly, our expectations are unrealistic, or we are looking for a specific behavior where anything else is unacceptable. We sometimes are limiting and single-minded, even though we would never admit or recognize it. I’m beginning to learn that life is really short, love is extremely important, and happiness is measured in ways that are very personal to each of us. Most importantly, say and act what you feel today because there is no guarantee for tomorrow. Life is precious.

Dr. Rick

thestepcardcollection is a website revolving around families and their issues. Lately I’ve been thinking and talking a lot about my family in Cuba. Everyone I come across is talking about the change in the US policy regarding travel to Cuba. Because I’m a Cuban born American Citizen they think I have the answers. There are many here that think a trip to Cuba is putting money in the hands of that government, there are also many that have always felt that keeping Cuban born Americans that have immigrated to the US over the past 50 years from being able to visit their loved ones in their homeland punishes the families in both countries rather than the Cuban government, in truth it is a bit of both. Though I’ve been here most of my life I still have close family in Cuba that I haven’t seen in over 40 years and barely know. I’ve always wanted to visit but fear of the Cuban government and what could happen to me there has kept me from going. It may be time, what do you think?

Friendship - the hard times....

Friendship – the hard times

Sometimes friendship can be hard. Right now one of my best friends is going through treatment for cancer. Six months of treatments every other Monday…we go, we sit, I work, I read or just kill time while mostly she sleeps (thankfully). But this is what friendship is all about, not just the good times and God knows we’ve had lots of those, but the bad times too. She needs me, I’m there, just as she would be (or has been) for me…boyfriends, marriages, divorces, parties, vacations, work outs sickness, death we’ve done it all and will do this…whatever it takes…we’re friends...best friends.

Fear of Failure

I’ve met many people who talk about fearing failure. Some discuss this in terms of their family and the lessons they learned growing up; some talk about feeling anxious when they must perform, whether at work or in their personal lives, without a “safety net;” others fear the disappointment, sadness, frustration, or even ridicule, that may accompany failing at something.

There are two ways fearing failure may affect us. In the negative sense, sometimes people fear failing to such an extent that it immobilizes them. Instead of energizing themselves to try something, they are so wrought with fear that they can’t move at all. On the other side, some people fear failing and it motivates them to concentrate harder, work more diligently and effectively, and ultimately succeed. Most successful people in our society fear failure, but use it as a motivator. They don’t like or want to fail, and so they avoid it at all costs.

How does the concept of failing affect your life? Does it motivate you or scare you to death? Let me know.
Dr. Rick

Happy Birthday!

My wife, my stepdaughter, and I are going to Orlando this weekend to see my stepson. It's his birthday on Tuesday so we'll celebrate with him a couple of days early. Along with holidays, special events like birthdays are really tough when a loved one lives out of town. Lucky for us he's only 3 hours away, but I can surely empathize with those of you who have family in other states or even across the country. Of course, I could send him a "stepcard," but delivering our message in person is much better. Happy Birthday Lino!

Father's Day

Father's Day.
Father's Day is June 15th this year. That would be my father's 83rd birthday. A two for one! He passed away 9 years ago tomorrow. We had a great relationship. We played tennis and golf together, although he wasn't that good at either. It didn't matter. I miss him alot, but I'm never sad about it. We talked and shared a great deal (not everything, of course), but enough to know how we felt about each other. My relationship with my
Dad wasn't perfect, or maybe in its way it was. Take the
opportunity to say and do the things with people you love while
you have the chance. To all you Dads and Stepdads out
there--Have a great day!
Dr. Rick

Hey Stepfathers!!

Hey Stepfathers! What happens when everything seems to be going smoothly in the family, then all of a sudden you get ganged up on when your opinion differs from theirs? (in my case by my wife and stepdaughter--aka the Gilmore Girls).

Sometimes I really feel like I see their point of view, but it doesn't make sense to me. Then again, it's two to one! Kinda makes you think--am I really off base or are they just the 'Home Team". I don't necessarily want to figure this out, I just want to be comfortable with it. I thought it might change over time, but as we all get older I think we all get more opinionated. Maybe that's okay.

Dr. Rick

thestepcardcollection Launches Premier Collection of Quality, Printed Cards

"Just for Stepfamilies"

http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/ the premier online resource for sentiment, occasion and greeting cards for stepfamilies has successfully launched its first collection of quality, PRINTED holiday, occasion and sentiment cards created specifically for stepfamilies.

The first group of 24 high-quality, printed cards (printed on recycled paper) was written by Dr. Rick, illustrated by Belgian Artist Caroline Geys and Designed by Miami-based design team BE IT Designs. "The cards are fresh, spirited, humorous and playful in design and pack the same sentimental and communicative punch as our collection of online cards" said Dr. Rick. For more information on how to get these wonderful cards - please contact us at sales@thestepcardcollection.com. To obtain the full press release please contact: Media contacts: Lisa Silvera/Christopher Hughes info@thinkkingmedia.com.

Are my feelings legit?

I wonder how many children have experienced this situation in their families? Your parents were divorced when you were young and you have been living with your Mom since the split. Your Dad's visits with you started out pretty regularly, but have gotten less and less frequent over the years. Maybe he got remarried and has a new family or maybe the interest is lower. Who knows? Your Mom married this new man a few years back (your stepfather) and it's turned out OK. In fact, your attachment to him is getting greater than your attachment to your biological Dad. Does this present a problem for you? You know--loyalty, commitment, jealousy on either of the Dad's parts? I just want to say that any of these feelings are legit.

Tell me how you're feeling about this. Let's see if we can get a dialogue going with others in this situation.
Dr. Rick