thestepcardcollection is a website revolving around families and their issues. Lately I’ve been thinking and talking a lot about my family in Cuba. Everyone I come across is talking about the change in the US policy regarding travel to Cuba. Because I’m a Cuban born American Citizen they think I have the answers. There are many here that think a trip to Cuba is putting money in the hands of that government, there are also many that have always felt that keeping Cuban born Americans that have immigrated to the US over the past 50 years from being able to visit their loved ones in their homeland punishes the families in both countries rather than the Cuban government, in truth it is a bit of both. Though I’ve been here most of my life I still have close family in Cuba that I haven’t seen in over 40 years and barely know. I’ve always wanted to visit but fear of the Cuban government and what could happen to me there has kept me from going. It may be time, what do you think?

Visit us in Booth 1351!

Stepfamilies in Australia

Stepfamilies today are becoming a prominent part of Australian family life. It is currently estimated that one in five Australian families is a stepfamily. All families need information, education and support. While resources for biological families are available in the community, services often fail to address the unique differences associated with stepfamilies. Stepfamilies Australia is a partnership between the Stepfamily Associations of Victoria, South Australia, Western Australia, New South Wales, Queensland and Tasmania, formed in July 2007.

Stepfamilies Australia works as a catalyst, adding value to the family relationships sector. The innovative work of its members takes a lead to break through myths and sends a message to the community that stepfamilies are complex and hard work, but also achievable, with support.

For more information, news and tips please visit the Stepfamilies Australia website!

HOW IS THE ECONOMY AFFECTING YOU?

Here we are in the midst of a recession, although what does it matter what it’s called, money is tight. I see it all around me! People are cutting back all over. Some people I know who never worried about their job are either concerned that they might lose it, or are already out of work. We’ve had crises in our nation before, but not like this in a long time. Many “experts” say don’t worry, things will rebound in a couple of years—
investments will increase, jobs will be more plentiful, and we’ll be prosperous again. What do we do in the meantime? These same experts predict that things will get worse before they get better. Isn’t that a dreadful thought! This environment really tests our character. Those of us used to lending a helping hand may find that to be more difficult, but hopefully, not impossible. This is where our values, personal commitments, and our family ties get stressed and stretched, but not broken. Hang in there. One day at a time. Maybe one moment at a time, when necessary. Good luck everyone, we’ll need it.

Dr. Rick

What's Your View of The World?

What’s Your View Of The World?
Two people are in a relationship and are smart enough to recognize that getting along and moving ahead involves acknowledgement and compromise. The basis of compromise and resolving disagreements comes from the understanding that two people can look at the same picture and see different things. Both views are correct because that’s your view of the world. Let’s face it, we live our lives by the way we see, hear, and feel the world around us. Each of our perspectives is 100% correct, regardless of what is factually real. There are no absolutes! If we will all be tolerant of other people’s opinions and perceptions, things would run alot smoother.
Dr. Rick

From Carmen's Point of View - Fear of Failure

These are all great comments! I too have an issue with failure, I don't like doing something i'm not good at so often it's hard to try something new but I try not to let it stop me. Though it seems silly now I have a story about junior high school. I wanted to try out for cheerleading and went as far as going to tryouts, getting dressed, then I chickened out and went home. I regretted it for years. Though it's really not important anymore, it still bugs me that fear of failing kept me from trying out, I always remember that when i'm up against any challenge.Carmen

Fear of Failure

I’ve met many people who talk about fearing failure. Some discuss this in terms of their family and the lessons they learned growing up; some talk about feeling anxious when they must perform, whether at work or in their personal lives, without a “safety net;” others fear the disappointment, sadness, frustration, or even ridicule, that may accompany failing at something.

There are two ways fearing failure may affect us. In the negative sense, sometimes people fear failing to such an extent that it immobilizes them. Instead of energizing themselves to try something, they are so wrought with fear that they can’t move at all. On the other side, some people fear failing and it motivates them to concentrate harder, work more diligently and effectively, and ultimately succeed. Most successful people in our society fear failure, but use it as a motivator. They don’t like or want to fail, and so they avoid it at all costs.

How does the concept of failing affect your life? Does it motivate you or scare you to death? Let me know.
Dr. Rick

No Brandy Bunch!

NO BRADY BUNCH.

I was watching one of the YouTube feeds that comes up periodically right here on the Step-Forum. It was Ron Deal from http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/ talking about how the “Brady Bunch lied,” meaning life in a stepfamily isn’t always smooth and cozy. It’s true, the Brady Bunch had their share of mishaps and misadventures, but come on, sometimes our house can be a real battleground. I think he is just trying to paint a true picture. In the long run Ron’s point, however, is that all of us in our stepfamilies do a lot of stuff right.

We need to build on the good things—the foundation of love and caring that is mostly there, but sometimes hidden by real life problems and conflicts that can be resolved if we use what works and not what we know doesn’t. I’m guessing that there’s an inherent good in most of us and that leads to a pretty good first STEP in making our families better and happier.

Dr. Rick

Perceptions, Opinions & Election 2008

Perceptions
It’s sometimes hard for me to understand that I can see something so clearly from my perspective and the person I am talking to sees a completely different picture. I don’t mean a slight difference, but polar opposites. I know it’s important for us to allow for other opinions and perceptions, but it’s curious at times. I guess that appears more obvious every 4 years around this time when the Presidential election nears. I respect people’s right to their opinion and choices, and they should respect mine.

One of the advantages of living in the United States is that we are encouraged to have passionate feelings and the ability to express those feelings through our voting privilege. I encourage everyone to educate themselves about the issues, ask questions to clarify your thoughts, and vote for the person who best suits your needs and the needs of your family (or stepfamily). I guess this advice holds true not only for electing public officials, but for enhancing your life in general. Our opinions and feelings really do matter.
Dr. Rick

Happy Birthday!

My wife, my stepdaughter, and I are going to Orlando this weekend to see my stepson. It's his birthday on Tuesday so we'll celebrate with him a couple of days early. Along with holidays, special events like birthdays are really tough when a loved one lives out of town. Lucky for us he's only 3 hours away, but I can surely empathize with those of you who have family in other states or even across the country. Of course, I could send him a "stepcard," but delivering our message in person is much better. Happy Birthday Lino!

Meet the Mom that started it all..Part 2

Hi everyone! Here is the rest of the story I started last week.... My situation: I had been a “single-mom” for 10 years. My children and I had created a very close and special family unit. We basically grew up together. We did everything together, shared everything, we were as close as close can be (my claim to fame is that I coached my son’s little league baseball team, yes I was that kind of mom!). To bring someone else into our lives was quite a challenge, not to mention that the kids “real dad” was always very involved in their lives. If you have read any of the stepcards on our site you can tell it was very difficult and emotional for Rick as well as it was for us and not the easiest time in our lives but we are all better for the experience.

We’ve had our challenges, but we’ve made it through and come out on the other side of this adventure with two great kids we’re very proud of, a decent marriage and a great idea we hope will help others in our situation. I hope you agree. We hope you find this blog and our website helpful, and we hope to hear from you soon! Thanks so much for all of your comments and support!!!

Carmen Elias-Levenson, the mom

Are my feelings legit?

I wonder how many children have experienced this situation in their families? Your parents were divorced when you were young and you have been living with your Mom since the split. Your Dad's visits with you started out pretty regularly, but have gotten less and less frequent over the years. Maybe he got remarried and has a new family or maybe the interest is lower. Who knows? Your Mom married this new man a few years back (your stepfather) and it's turned out OK. In fact, your attachment to him is getting greater than your attachment to your biological Dad. Does this present a problem for you? You know--loyalty, commitment, jealousy on either of the Dad's parts? I just want to say that any of these feelings are legit.

Tell me how you're feeling about this. Let's see if we can get a dialogue going with others in this situation.
Dr. Rick