Fear of Failure

I’ve met many people who talk about fearing failure. Some discuss this in terms of their family and the lessons they learned growing up; some talk about feeling anxious when they must perform, whether at work or in their personal lives, without a “safety net;” others fear the disappointment, sadness, frustration, or even ridicule, that may accompany failing at something.

There are two ways fearing failure may affect us. In the negative sense, sometimes people fear failing to such an extent that it immobilizes them. Instead of energizing themselves to try something, they are so wrought with fear that they can’t move at all. On the other side, some people fear failing and it motivates them to concentrate harder, work more diligently and effectively, and ultimately succeed. Most successful people in our society fear failure, but use it as a motivator. They don’t like or want to fail, and so they avoid it at all costs.

How does the concept of failing affect your life? Does it motivate you or scare you to death? Let me know.
Dr. Rick

Hey Stepfathers!!

Hey Stepfathers! What happens when everything seems to be going smoothly in the family, then all of a sudden you get ganged up on when your opinion differs from theirs? (in my case by my wife and stepdaughter--aka the Gilmore Girls).

Sometimes I really feel like I see their point of view, but it doesn't make sense to me. Then again, it's two to one! Kinda makes you think--am I really off base or are they just the 'Home Team". I don't necessarily want to figure this out, I just want to be comfortable with it. I thought it might change over time, but as we all get older I think we all get more opinionated. Maybe that's okay.

Dr. Rick

Are my feelings legit?

I wonder how many children have experienced this situation in their families? Your parents were divorced when you were young and you have been living with your Mom since the split. Your Dad's visits with you started out pretty regularly, but have gotten less and less frequent over the years. Maybe he got remarried and has a new family or maybe the interest is lower. Who knows? Your Mom married this new man a few years back (your stepfather) and it's turned out OK. In fact, your attachment to him is getting greater than your attachment to your biological Dad. Does this present a problem for you? You know--loyalty, commitment, jealousy on either of the Dad's parts? I just want to say that any of these feelings are legit.

Tell me how you're feeling about this. Let's see if we can get a dialogue going with others in this situation.
Dr. Rick