Life is Precious

We almost never know what may happen in life-good or bad. Yeah, we can plan for some things, and we can have some power over other things happening, but the one thing we can never control are the thoughts, behaviors, and feelings of others. We sometimes get disappointed when others don’t behave or respond the way we’d like them to. In that case, mostly, our expectations are unrealistic, or we are looking for a specific behavior where anything else is unacceptable. We sometimes are limiting and single-minded, even though we would never admit or recognize it. I’m beginning to learn that life is really short, love is extremely important, and happiness is measured in ways that are very personal to each of us. Most importantly, say and act what you feel today because there is no guarantee for tomorrow. Life is precious.

Dr. Rick

Stepfather's Day

It’s almost Stepfather’s Day (June 21st, the same as Father’s Day). It gives us the opportunity to say what we’d like to our stepdad as we celebrate his day. Cards we can buy in stores don’t always give us the option to say what we are feeling. If this is the case, write your own sentiments that express what’s really in your heart. Some of the stuff out there is really mushy, and maybe you don’t feel that way. I know many people who have struggled in their relationship with their stepdad, but they’re still trying to make it better. Sometimes people have mixed feelings, good and bad, loving and angry. Don’t be afraid to put it into words if you can. I always think that honesty trumps what everyone thinks you’re supposed to feel. Sometimes short and to the point beats long and drawn out, which can lose its impact. I hope you all enjoy the day.

Dr. Rick

National Stationery Show - Final Installment

Well, we’re back! We had a great time in New York, and more importantly, got great feedback about our printed card line. We learned a lot about the greeting card industry and met many other card creators and manufacturers with companies about the same size as ours. Of course, nobody else is producing cards for stepfamilies, so we feel we’re on the cutting edge of this slice of the population. We had little time to explore the City, but after the Show ended we did spend an extra day to visit Chinatown, Little Italy, and Central Park (Tavern on the Green will never be the same). All in all, it was an educational and fun experience. To enjoy the pictures, click here.

Dr. Rick

Some NTL Stationery Show fun!

Day three! We made some booth design changes to better showcase of our cardline today - this is the third day - tonight we have our supplyside party and we are looking foward to a great afternoon. The sun is finally shinning in New York! Wish us luck!

Check us out on YouTube!

HOW IS THE ECONOMY AFFECTING YOU?

Here we are in the midst of a recession, although what does it matter what it’s called, money is tight. I see it all around me! People are cutting back all over. Some people I know who never worried about their job are either concerned that they might lose it, or are already out of work. We’ve had crises in our nation before, but not like this in a long time. Many “experts” say don’t worry, things will rebound in a couple of years—
investments will increase, jobs will be more plentiful, and we’ll be prosperous again. What do we do in the meantime? These same experts predict that things will get worse before they get better. Isn’t that a dreadful thought! This environment really tests our character. Those of us used to lending a helping hand may find that to be more difficult, but hopefully, not impossible. This is where our values, personal commitments, and our family ties get stressed and stretched, but not broken. Hang in there. One day at a time. Maybe one moment at a time, when necessary. Good luck everyone, we’ll need it.

Dr. Rick

Stepfamilies & the Holiday's

Well the holidays are upon us again. I can’t believe 2008 is almost over. This time of year is especially hectic in our house. We celebrate Christmas and Chanukah (Hey! the more food, the better). My stepkids are both adults so they make their own choices about where to go; or in the case of my stepson, he might not be here for Christmas morning at all, much to our disappointment. We’re probably a lot like many families that have blended religions, personalities, politics, backgrounds, traditions, and a host of other differences to hopefully, come up with a better, more rounded end product. I’m extremely happy that Carmen and my stepchildren have made a special effort to learn about my religion and traditions, as I have made an effort to understand their cultural and familial values. Let’s face it, all in all, we’re pretty much alike as we strive to make our lives full and happy. We overcome and work out minor struggles and conflicts as a part of living and growing together. For the most part, life is good. Now, if we could only settle UM vs. FSU. That really gives us fits!!!

What's your favorite family tradition?

Dr. Rick

Holiday's, Stepfamily Relationships and the Ex-es!

At this time of year I am most thankful for the good health of my family and friends and the strong relationships we have. The relationships that come with step or blended families can be very complex. Getting along with new inlaws, etc. is the easy part, the tough part is getting along with the ex-es.

In our case I think we do better than most. Rick’s ex is in another state so we have little contact but mine lives a couple of miles away and has always been very involved in the kids lives so we see him quite a bit. Though it’s not always been easy we decided long ago it’s best for everyone if we would get along. Though we’ve been divorced for some time we are still friends (here we are dancing together at my 50th birthday party last month). We still consider each other family, divorcing someone doesn’t take them or their family out of your life, especially when there are children involved so you have to make the best of it. For us it has been the best way, the family just gets bigger.

I hope many of you have similar relationships, it is certainly better than the alternative.

Carmen

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving Is Next Week.Thanksgiving is 10 days away. I guess it means alot of different things to us, depending on how we grew up and the importance our families put on this holiday, and holidays in general. I have alot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful family and few, but close friends. I have relatively good health and a stressful life that I can manage OK. With the economy, money is tight, but we’re all in the same boat. For me, I try to be thankful all the time, and I try to celebrate my life (and my luck) everyday. I try not to be envious of others, and I try not to look over my shoulder and say “What if” (I’m not always successful with that one!). This is a time of the year for celebration and reflection. I try to do both. I hope this Thanksgiving and the entire holiday season is good for you. As in life, it is what you make it. I’m making mine good!
Dr. Rick

Fear of Failure

I’ve met many people who talk about fearing failure. Some discuss this in terms of their family and the lessons they learned growing up; some talk about feeling anxious when they must perform, whether at work or in their personal lives, without a “safety net;” others fear the disappointment, sadness, frustration, or even ridicule, that may accompany failing at something.

There are two ways fearing failure may affect us. In the negative sense, sometimes people fear failing to such an extent that it immobilizes them. Instead of energizing themselves to try something, they are so wrought with fear that they can’t move at all. On the other side, some people fear failing and it motivates them to concentrate harder, work more diligently and effectively, and ultimately succeed. Most successful people in our society fear failure, but use it as a motivator. They don’t like or want to fail, and so they avoid it at all costs.

How does the concept of failing affect your life? Does it motivate you or scare you to death? Let me know.
Dr. Rick

THE ELECTION!

THE ELECTION.
What brings a family closer together or drives them further apart than politics?

I try not to bring the subject up in my family for fear of offending someone or worse, opening the door for them to offend me! The current Presidential election is one of the most important elections in our country’s history. We are at a social, financial, and moral crossroad.Whomever you choose to lead our nation, be sure that he (and in the future, she) does it surrounded by hand-picked intelligent, motivated, hopefully objective people, chosen for their expertise and leadership qualities.

Let’s face it, we all have an opinion, and thankfully in the United States, a voice to express our thoughts and feelings. Use it responsibly, and may the best candidate win leading us back on a positive track.

Dr. Rick

Getting older is real.

Getting Older.
Is it just a cliche? I don’t think so.
Getting older is real. More forgetful, get tired sooner, can’t stay up as late, can’t eat anything and everything without the Rolaids handy, creaks and aches that come out of nowhere. As my mother used to say, “Getting older is not for sissies!”
On the other hand, better insight, stronger ties to family, more mature attitude (sometimes!), better decision making, higher tolerance for disappointments. This is me. How about you?

Dr. Rick

Send us your favorite Pictures!

Send your favorite pictures to us at carmen@thestepcardcollection.com. We will post them on Dr. Rick’s Step-Forum (we reserve the right to decline inappropriate pictures). Don’t forget to put subtitles with them so we know who you are and where you are! What a great way to share your stepfamily experiences and triumphs with other subscribers. This might also be a good time to share your thoughts and feelings through the Story Page on the website. We always look forward to communicating with you.
Have a great day!
Dr. Rick

Pictures! Enjoy! Send us your photos and we'll place them on our blog!

Cool Stepfamily Father's Day e-Cards

I wanted to share an example of one of the cards I created for Father's Day 2008. I hope you can see it clearly here. The card reads.....

When you married my Mom, I wasn't sure how I felt. I knew we were OK before you got here, but I didn't know what to expect. You make my Mom happy, and that makes me happy. Happy Father's Day!

Let me know what you think - you can see all of the Father's Day cards on my website. If you would like to submit your own sentiments - I will gladly feature them here. Father's Day is June 15th. Don't forget to send your dad a special message!

-Dr. Rick

Father's Day

Father's Day.
Father's Day is June 15th this year. That would be my father's 83rd birthday. A two for one! He passed away 9 years ago tomorrow. We had a great relationship. We played tennis and golf together, although he wasn't that good at either. It didn't matter. I miss him alot, but I'm never sad about it. We talked and shared a great deal (not everything, of course), but enough to know how we felt about each other. My relationship with my
Dad wasn't perfect, or maybe in its way it was. Take the
opportunity to say and do the things with people you love while
you have the chance. To all you Dads and Stepdads out
there--Have a great day!
Dr. Rick

Meet the Mom that started it all..Part 2

Hi everyone! Here is the rest of the story I started last week.... My situation: I had been a “single-mom” for 10 years. My children and I had created a very close and special family unit. We basically grew up together. We did everything together, shared everything, we were as close as close can be (my claim to fame is that I coached my son’s little league baseball team, yes I was that kind of mom!). To bring someone else into our lives was quite a challenge, not to mention that the kids “real dad” was always very involved in their lives. If you have read any of the stepcards on our site you can tell it was very difficult and emotional for Rick as well as it was for us and not the easiest time in our lives but we are all better for the experience.

We’ve had our challenges, but we’ve made it through and come out on the other side of this adventure with two great kids we’re very proud of, a decent marriage and a great idea we hope will help others in our situation. I hope you agree. We hope you find this blog and our website helpful, and we hope to hear from you soon! Thanks so much for all of your comments and support!!!

Carmen Elias-Levenson, the mom

Speaking of Mother's Day - Meet the Mom that started it all!

Hi, I’m Carmen, the better half of Dr. Rick. I brought the kids that created the stepfamily you are reading about on this website…

Ten years ago when Rick & I decided to marry we asked “my kids” (then 14 & 17) for their approval, though they said they were ok with it, the real response I got when Rick wasn’t present was “do we really have a choice?” So we went from there…As hard as it may be for a stepdad (or stepmom I imagine) to walk into a “ready-made family”, it is equally hard for the mom & kids that make up that readymade family to get used to someone new intruding on their space and their lives.

The relationship between us had become the only thing they knew, they were really too young to remember what it was like living with their dad and mom as a family so, we were it! Divorce is hard on everyone, it took a lot of time, love, tears and care to get to where we were at the point Rick came into the picture.

Well, this this is a good start, I look forward to blogging more and finishing this story later in the week. Be sure and check back! Nice to meet you, Carmen - the "Mom"

A Tribute to Mothers

May 11th is Mother’s Day this year. Let’s face it, most mothers deserve praise all year round, but rarely get it! Manytimes their deeds are taken for granted, and their family commitment and dedication is unmatched. In today’s society many mothers are part of the workforce outside the home as well as within it. Their jobs are usually extended way beyond the 9 to 5 timeframe. We do things to please our mothers and elicit their acknowledgement and recognition, but do we reciprocate?

Time is short and precious. Be sure to say and do what’s necessary to make the relationship with your mother a significant one. Now if you have a stepmother, too …....Happy Mother’s Day!

Dr. Rick

Hey Stepfathers!!

Hey Stepfathers! What happens when everything seems to be going smoothly in the family, then all of a sudden you get ganged up on when your opinion differs from theirs? (in my case by my wife and stepdaughter--aka the Gilmore Girls).

Sometimes I really feel like I see their point of view, but it doesn't make sense to me. Then again, it's two to one! Kinda makes you think--am I really off base or are they just the 'Home Team". I don't necessarily want to figure this out, I just want to be comfortable with it. I thought it might change over time, but as we all get older I think we all get more opinionated. Maybe that's okay.

Dr. Rick