Stepfather's Day

It’s almost Stepfather’s Day (June 21st, the same as Father’s Day). It gives us the opportunity to say what we’d like to our stepdad as we celebrate his day. Cards we can buy in stores don’t always give us the option to say what we are feeling. If this is the case, write your own sentiments that express what’s really in your heart. Some of the stuff out there is really mushy, and maybe you don’t feel that way. I know many people who have struggled in their relationship with their stepdad, but they’re still trying to make it better. Sometimes people have mixed feelings, good and bad, loving and angry. Don’t be afraid to put it into words if you can. I always think that honesty trumps what everyone thinks you’re supposed to feel. Sometimes short and to the point beats long and drawn out, which can lose its impact. I hope you all enjoy the day.

Dr. Rick

National Stationery Show - Final Installment

Well, we’re back! We had a great time in New York, and more importantly, got great feedback about our printed card line. We learned a lot about the greeting card industry and met many other card creators and manufacturers with companies about the same size as ours. Of course, nobody else is producing cards for stepfamilies, so we feel we’re on the cutting edge of this slice of the population. We had little time to explore the City, but after the Show ended we did spend an extra day to visit Chinatown, Little Italy, and Central Park (Tavern on the Green will never be the same). All in all, it was an educational and fun experience. To enjoy the pictures, click here.

Dr. Rick

New York...here we come!

NEW YORK: HERE WE COME!!
We’re down to five days before we leave Miami for the National Stationery Show in New York. Our booth components and printed cards are already on the way and will hopefully be there waiting for us in our booth when we arrive (good luck to that!). Carmen (both wife and stepdaughter), Jeff, and I have worked tirelessly to put the booth together. I must say, it looks pretty impressive. My sister, Hildy, did an unbelievably professional job putting together sample books for the booth and an incredible poster display for our submission into the new company best product contest. For those interested we presented stepcard # 1 (you can look it up at the Online Store). We’re very excited and hope to get some retail stores interested in the card line. New York, being such a huge stage, will give us a great opportunity to educate the public and let them know that greeting cards for stepfamily members are out there. We’ll also tout our FREE e-card website. We’ll be sure to take lots of pictures, which we’ll post when we return. Wish us luck. P.S., we got some press on Sunday in the Washington Post. It’s in an article by the reporter, Theola Labbe-Debose. You can find it here!

thestepcardcollection is a website revolving around families and their issues. Lately I’ve been thinking and talking a lot about my family in Cuba. Everyone I come across is talking about the change in the US policy regarding travel to Cuba. Because I’m a Cuban born American Citizen they think I have the answers. There are many here that think a trip to Cuba is putting money in the hands of that government, there are also many that have always felt that keeping Cuban born Americans that have immigrated to the US over the past 50 years from being able to visit their loved ones in their homeland punishes the families in both countries rather than the Cuban government, in truth it is a bit of both. Though I’ve been here most of my life I still have close family in Cuba that I haven’t seen in over 40 years and barely know. I’ve always wanted to visit but fear of the Cuban government and what could happen to me there has kept me from going. It may be time, what do you think?

MOTHER’S DAY FOR STEPMOMS

As we approach Mother’s Day (May 10th this year) we reflect on what a special person exists in all our lives. Regardless of time or geography, we celebrate the relationship we have with our Mom, even if she’s no longer with us physically. For those of us in stepfamilies, we get to celebrate the relationship with our stepmom, too. Although this relationship may be very different than the one with our biological Mother, it is oftentimes an important one as well. Let’s face it, some of us have developed great relationships with our stepparents over the years, although I’m not naïve enough to think that that’s always the case. The role a stepparent plays is often a difficult one. They almost never take the place of a biological parent, but fill a void left by a divorce or a death. Let me know how you celebrate Mother’s Day. What kind of relationship have you developed with your Stepmother over the years? Can you celebrate Mother’s Day for your Mom and your Stepmom? On May 10th let’s celebrate Mother’s Day for all Mothers!

Dr. Rick

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HOW IS THE ECONOMY AFFECTING YOU?

Here we are in the midst of a recession, although what does it matter what it’s called, money is tight. I see it all around me! People are cutting back all over. Some people I know who never worried about their job are either concerned that they might lose it, or are already out of work. We’ve had crises in our nation before, but not like this in a long time. Many “experts” say don’t worry, things will rebound in a couple of years—
investments will increase, jobs will be more plentiful, and we’ll be prosperous again. What do we do in the meantime? These same experts predict that things will get worse before they get better. Isn’t that a dreadful thought! This environment really tests our character. Those of us used to lending a helping hand may find that to be more difficult, but hopefully, not impossible. This is where our values, personal commitments, and our family ties get stressed and stretched, but not broken. Hang in there. One day at a time. Maybe one moment at a time, when necessary. Good luck everyone, we’ll need it.

Dr. Rick

Stepfamilies & the Holiday's

Well the holidays are upon us again. I can’t believe 2008 is almost over. This time of year is especially hectic in our house. We celebrate Christmas and Chanukah (Hey! the more food, the better). My stepkids are both adults so they make their own choices about where to go; or in the case of my stepson, he might not be here for Christmas morning at all, much to our disappointment. We’re probably a lot like many families that have blended religions, personalities, politics, backgrounds, traditions, and a host of other differences to hopefully, come up with a better, more rounded end product. I’m extremely happy that Carmen and my stepchildren have made a special effort to learn about my religion and traditions, as I have made an effort to understand their cultural and familial values. Let’s face it, all in all, we’re pretty much alike as we strive to make our lives full and happy. We overcome and work out minor struggles and conflicts as a part of living and growing together. For the most part, life is good. Now, if we could only settle UM vs. FSU. That really gives us fits!!!

What's your favorite family tradition?

Dr. Rick

Holiday's, Stepfamily Relationships and the Ex-es!

At this time of year I am most thankful for the good health of my family and friends and the strong relationships we have. The relationships that come with step or blended families can be very complex. Getting along with new inlaws, etc. is the easy part, the tough part is getting along with the ex-es.

In our case I think we do better than most. Rick’s ex is in another state so we have little contact but mine lives a couple of miles away and has always been very involved in the kids lives so we see him quite a bit. Though it’s not always been easy we decided long ago it’s best for everyone if we would get along. Though we’ve been divorced for some time we are still friends (here we are dancing together at my 50th birthday party last month). We still consider each other family, divorcing someone doesn’t take them or their family out of your life, especially when there are children involved so you have to make the best of it. For us it has been the best way, the family just gets bigger.

I hope many of you have similar relationships, it is certainly better than the alternative.

Carmen

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving Is Next Week.Thanksgiving is 10 days away. I guess it means alot of different things to us, depending on how we grew up and the importance our families put on this holiday, and holidays in general. I have alot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful family and few, but close friends. I have relatively good health and a stressful life that I can manage OK. With the economy, money is tight, but we’re all in the same boat. For me, I try to be thankful all the time, and I try to celebrate my life (and my luck) everyday. I try not to be envious of others, and I try not to look over my shoulder and say “What if” (I’m not always successful with that one!). This is a time of the year for celebration and reflection. I try to do both. I hope this Thanksgiving and the entire holiday season is good for you. As in life, it is what you make it. I’m making mine good!
Dr. Rick

Thank you for your insight & honesty re: Fear of Failure

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS! To All Of You That Posted Comments Re: Fear of Failure:

Thank you for your insights and personal experiences. The concepts of failing, and conversely success, often generate an array of emotions. What motivates us to succeed is extremely important. I agree with the majority of you who commented that fear of failure often motivates us to successses. Some of our greatest inventors, business people, teachers, doctors, attorneys, politicians (and the list goes on and on) have succeeded after one or many failures. They have learned from mistakes and have been energized by their frustrations and disappointments. Where would we be today without their vision and self-assured drive? Your comments have reinforced that many of us use fearing failure as a positive tool. Fewer are disabled or immobilized by failure, but this phenomenon does occur. As one of you wrote, setting lower expectations helps one avoid failure; is this really a solution?

I appreciate your reading the Step-Forum blog. Carmen and I try to write about interesting topics as much as we can, and we post almost daily so subscribe today! Please also visit our website.

Dr. Rick