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Thanksgiving Is Next Week.Thanksgiving is 10 days away. I guess it means alot of different things to us, depending on how we grew up and the importance our families put on this holiday, and holidays in general. I have alot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful family and few, but close friends. I have relatively good health and a stressful life that I can manage OK. With the economy, money is tight, but we’re all in the same boat. For me, I try to be thankful all the time, and I try to celebrate my life (and my luck) everyday. I try not to be envious of others, and I try not to look over my shoulder and say “What if” (I’m not always successful with that one!). This is a time of the year for celebration and reflection. I try to do both. I hope this Thanksgiving and the entire holiday season is good for you. As in life, it is what you make it. I’m making mine good!
Dr. Rick
I’ve met many people who talk about fearing failure. Some discuss this in terms of their family and the lessons they learned growing up; some talk about feeling anxious when they must perform, whether at work or in their personal lives, without a “safety net;” others fear the disappointment, sadness, frustration, or even ridicule, that may accompany failing at something.
There are two ways fearing failure may affect us. In the negative sense, sometimes people fear failing to such an extent that it immobilizes them. Instead of energizing themselves to try something, they are so wrought with fear that they can’t move at all. On the other side, some people fear failing and it motivates them to concentrate harder, work more diligently and effectively, and ultimately succeed. Most successful people in our society fear failure, but use it as a motivator. They don’t like or want to fail, and so they avoid it at all costs.
How does the concept of failing affect your life? Does it motivate you or scare you to death? Let me know.
Dr. Rick
Getting Older.
Is it just a cliche? I don’t think so.
Getting older is real. More forgetful, get tired sooner, can’t stay up as late, can’t eat anything and everything without the Rolaids handy, creaks and aches that come out of nowhere. As my mother used to say, “Getting older is not for sissies!”
On the other hand, better insight, stronger ties to family, more mature attitude (sometimes!), better decision making, higher tolerance for disappointments. This is me. How about you?
Dr. Rick
I’ve gotten a few emails from kids who live with one parent (usually their mother) and they feel “out of place” when they visit with their other parent (usually their father). Sometimes it’s awkward because their father has remarried and they’re not sure what to expect from their new stepmother. Other times, and this is obviously more serious, their father has married someone who has kids from her first marriage, so they don’t feel welcomed. Maybe you don’t even have a room or special place in your Dad’s new house. It’s a common circumstance, and so a common feeling, but I understand it doesn’t feel good. What can you do? Talk with your Dad. Let him know how you feel. Don’t assume he knows what you’re experiencing. In fact, he probably doesn’t see it at all! I know your Dad doesn’t live with your Mom anymore, but I bet he still loves you just the same. Good luck!
Dr. Rick
When I first became a stepfather my stepkids were already teenagers. It was extremely difficult to come into the family and be a parent—giving directives, setting limits, enforcing rules—until their mother gave me explicit authority to do so.
Hi! I am Dr. Rick, and I am new to blogging and being online, but I'm open to learning new things. I've been a Stepfather for 10 years and a Psychologist for almost 20 years. I started writing cards for my Stepchildren when I couldn't find anything else in the marketplace that expressed what I was feeling about them.
http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/, caters specifically to stepfamilies and their unique emotional and communication challenges and triumphs. 
