GEARING UP FOR NEW YORK-installment #2

Just eight weeks away, we’re getting really excited about the National Stationery Show (May 17-20). We’re in the process of figuring out how to design our booth so we can best show off our card line. This show is the Super Bowl of card shows, and we need to introduce the public to stepcards. We’ve booked a hotel so we can walk back and forth to the venue. We’ve been told that the four day Show is intense and not to expect to do anything else in New York until the Show is over. We’ll be thrilled if we can get a Card Rep to carry our line and also if we can talk to Retailers who might put our cards in their stores. We know we need a “grass roots” effort to get our cards out there, and we’re in it for the long haul. We’ll keep you posted. To all our subscribers and supporters, thanks for your help.

Carmen & Dr. Rick

Friendship - the hard times....

Friendship – the hard times

Sometimes friendship can be hard. Right now one of my best friends is going through treatment for cancer. Six months of treatments every other Monday…we go, we sit, I work, I read or just kill time while mostly she sleeps (thankfully). But this is what friendship is all about, not just the good times and God knows we’ve had lots of those, but the bad times too. She needs me, I’m there, just as she would be (or has been) for me…boyfriends, marriages, divorces, parties, vacations, work outs sickness, death we’ve done it all and will do this…whatever it takes…we’re friends...best friends.

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving Is Next Week.Thanksgiving is 10 days away. I guess it means alot of different things to us, depending on how we grew up and the importance our families put on this holiday, and holidays in general. I have alot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful family and few, but close friends. I have relatively good health and a stressful life that I can manage OK. With the economy, money is tight, but we’re all in the same boat. For me, I try to be thankful all the time, and I try to celebrate my life (and my luck) everyday. I try not to be envious of others, and I try not to look over my shoulder and say “What if” (I’m not always successful with that one!). This is a time of the year for celebration and reflection. I try to do both. I hope this Thanksgiving and the entire holiday season is good for you. As in life, it is what you make it. I’m making mine good!
Dr. Rick

Fear of Failure

I’ve met many people who talk about fearing failure. Some discuss this in terms of their family and the lessons they learned growing up; some talk about feeling anxious when they must perform, whether at work or in their personal lives, without a “safety net;” others fear the disappointment, sadness, frustration, or even ridicule, that may accompany failing at something.

There are two ways fearing failure may affect us. In the negative sense, sometimes people fear failing to such an extent that it immobilizes them. Instead of energizing themselves to try something, they are so wrought with fear that they can’t move at all. On the other side, some people fear failing and it motivates them to concentrate harder, work more diligently and effectively, and ultimately succeed. Most successful people in our society fear failure, but use it as a motivator. They don’t like or want to fail, and so they avoid it at all costs.

How does the concept of failing affect your life? Does it motivate you or scare you to death? Let me know.
Dr. Rick

No Brandy Bunch!

NO BRADY BUNCH.

I was watching one of the YouTube feeds that comes up periodically right here on the Step-Forum. It was Ron Deal from http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/ talking about how the “Brady Bunch lied,” meaning life in a stepfamily isn’t always smooth and cozy. It’s true, the Brady Bunch had their share of mishaps and misadventures, but come on, sometimes our house can be a real battleground. I think he is just trying to paint a true picture. In the long run Ron’s point, however, is that all of us in our stepfamilies do a lot of stuff right.

We need to build on the good things—the foundation of love and caring that is mostly there, but sometimes hidden by real life problems and conflicts that can be resolved if we use what works and not what we know doesn’t. I’m guessing that there’s an inherent good in most of us and that leads to a pretty good first STEP in making our families better and happier.

Dr. Rick

Perceptions, Opinions & Election 2008

Perceptions
It’s sometimes hard for me to understand that I can see something so clearly from my perspective and the person I am talking to sees a completely different picture. I don’t mean a slight difference, but polar opposites. I know it’s important for us to allow for other opinions and perceptions, but it’s curious at times. I guess that appears more obvious every 4 years around this time when the Presidential election nears. I respect people’s right to their opinion and choices, and they should respect mine.

One of the advantages of living in the United States is that we are encouraged to have passionate feelings and the ability to express those feelings through our voting privilege. I encourage everyone to educate themselves about the issues, ask questions to clarify your thoughts, and vote for the person who best suits your needs and the needs of your family (or stepfamily). I guess this advice holds true not only for electing public officials, but for enhancing your life in general. Our opinions and feelings really do matter.
Dr. Rick

Stepparent "Identity"

Stepparent "Identity"

Is there a difference in the way a stepparent is perceived
depending on the childrens' life stage? What I mean by this is,
in my experience, a stepparent that enters the scene when the
kids are older is more likely to be defined as a "step" parent
than one who marries in when the kids are young. There are
obviously other factors too, such as how involved is the
non-custodial biological parent and how equipped is the new stepparent to begin with. But all in all, I wonder if others have experienced a specific distinction based on when you married into the family. Let me know what you think.
Dr. Rick

Pictures! Enjoy! Send us your photos and we'll place them on our blog!

Speaking of Mother's Day - Meet the Mom that started it all!

Hi, I’m Carmen, the better half of Dr. Rick. I brought the kids that created the stepfamily you are reading about on this website…

Ten years ago when Rick & I decided to marry we asked “my kids” (then 14 & 17) for their approval, though they said they were ok with it, the real response I got when Rick wasn’t present was “do we really have a choice?” So we went from there…As hard as it may be for a stepdad (or stepmom I imagine) to walk into a “ready-made family”, it is equally hard for the mom & kids that make up that readymade family to get used to someone new intruding on their space and their lives.

The relationship between us had become the only thing they knew, they were really too young to remember what it was like living with their dad and mom as a family so, we were it! Divorce is hard on everyone, it took a lot of time, love, tears and care to get to where we were at the point Rick came into the picture.

Well, this this is a good start, I look forward to blogging more and finishing this story later in the week. Be sure and check back! Nice to meet you, Carmen - the "Mom"

A Tribute to Mothers

May 11th is Mother’s Day this year. Let’s face it, most mothers deserve praise all year round, but rarely get it! Manytimes their deeds are taken for granted, and their family commitment and dedication is unmatched. In today’s society many mothers are part of the workforce outside the home as well as within it. Their jobs are usually extended way beyond the 9 to 5 timeframe. We do things to please our mothers and elicit their acknowledgement and recognition, but do we reciprocate?

Time is short and precious. Be sure to say and do what’s necessary to make the relationship with your mother a significant one. Now if you have a stepmother, too …....Happy Mother’s Day!

Dr. Rick

Hey Stepfathers!!

Hey Stepfathers! What happens when everything seems to be going smoothly in the family, then all of a sudden you get ganged up on when your opinion differs from theirs? (in my case by my wife and stepdaughter--aka the Gilmore Girls).

Sometimes I really feel like I see their point of view, but it doesn't make sense to me. Then again, it's two to one! Kinda makes you think--am I really off base or are they just the 'Home Team". I don't necessarily want to figure this out, I just want to be comfortable with it. I thought it might change over time, but as we all get older I think we all get more opinionated. Maybe that's okay.

Dr. Rick

Are my feelings legit?

I wonder how many children have experienced this situation in their families? Your parents were divorced when you were young and you have been living with your Mom since the split. Your Dad's visits with you started out pretty regularly, but have gotten less and less frequent over the years. Maybe he got remarried and has a new family or maybe the interest is lower. Who knows? Your Mom married this new man a few years back (your stepfather) and it's turned out OK. In fact, your attachment to him is getting greater than your attachment to your biological Dad. Does this present a problem for you? You know--loyalty, commitment, jealousy on either of the Dad's parts? I just want to say that any of these feelings are legit.

Tell me how you're feeling about this. Let's see if we can get a dialogue going with others in this situation.
Dr. Rick

What are your experiences?

When I first became a stepfather my stepkids were already teenagers. It was extremely difficult to come into the family and be a parent—giving directives, setting limits, enforcing rules—until their mother gave me explicit authority to do so.

I’ve found that this permission is essential to make the relationship work. I can’t say that it worked perfectly, far from it—but it really helped. I wonder if it might have been a bit different if the kids were younger when I married their Mom. What are your experiences? I’d love to hear from you.

Dr Rick

Welcome to my BLOG!

Hi! I am Dr. Rick, and I am new to blogging and being online, but I'm open to learning new things. I've been a Stepfather for 10 years and a Psychologist for almost 20 years. I started writing cards for my Stepchildren when I couldn't find anything else in the marketplace that expressed what I was feeling about them.

Now, I know I am not alone - 1 out of 3

familes TODAY is a Stepfamily. Over the past several months I have taken my cards and my ideas and really developed them. I hired a team of experts to help me get my idea going.

My dream is to share my thoughts and recognition of stepfamiles with the world. So, what does my dream, experts, my wife, all these cards I have written over the years, etc...etc. really mean? It means, I created a website where people can send FREE e-cards to each other - anyone can join. http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/, caters specifically to stepfamilies and their unique emotional and communication challenges and triumphs.

In addition to the website, I really want to share my thoughts, and inspire and motivate others to do the same. Welcome to my blog, feel free to share, inspire and interact with me here. Got a question? Want to share pertinent information, issues, or data with families like yours? "Dr. Rick's Step-Forum is just the place."

Thanks for visiting my blog - feel free to subscribe!

Kind Regards,

Dr. Rick

"Special cards for stepfamilies"

For immediate release: (7 November 2007 - Miami, Florida)

Announcing the online launch of http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/. The premiere, interactive online greeting and sentiment card website loaded with only the best in holiday, occasion and sentiment e-cards designed just for step-families. Finally! A site that specifically acknowledges the feelings, challenges and special situations unique to step-families.

www.thestepcardcollection.com was created by a Psychologist and Step-Father in Miami Lakes, Florida. Newly married, he found that traditional greeting cards were incapable of expressing his true feelings for his new wife and step-children so he began creating his own cards for them. He decided to turn his personal project into a way to help other families with similar circumstances share their unique sentiments.

Catering specifically to step families and their unique emotional and communication challenges and triumphs, http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/ is an accessible, fun and tasteful resource brimming with e-cards, postcards, calendars, birthday alerts, reminders, address book and personal picture and message upload capabilities, family friendly games, and so much more.

A section of particular interest is Dr. Rick's Step-Forum, a featured section of http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/ that is informational, inspirational, and interactive. Have a question for Dr. Rick? Want to share pertinent information or data with families like yours? "Dr. Rick's Step-Forum is just the place.

Designed by progressive Miami & San Antonio based interactive and comprehensive web development force, http://www.iconnect2it.com/, the site touts a bold, modern look and sensible user friendly & innovative, category-specific navigation. Inventive promotional marketing will include ongoing promotional subscription incentives: compelling card images, sound and music scape's, a wide array of background & skin choices, sample e-card and postcard display; and an overall fresh, sophisticated design that showcases the sites expansive selection of quality, relevant e-cards.

Said Dr. Rick, "this website is for everyone who is a member of a step family. I hope this collection of greetings will convey what you, too, have been thinking or feeling."

http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/ was created with you and your special family in mind. Step-families comprise a substantial segment of today's society, but receive very little representation or consideration when it comes to greeting cards.

While traditional families can celebrate holiday's and birthdays with greeting cards that may perfectly express their sentiments, step-families could not - until now. http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/ provides a loving and objective voice for step-family members to address each with sensitivity and sincerity without being too corny or painfully predictable.

Original, relevant and heartfelt step-family cards like you dream about - right at your fingertips.

Welcome to http://www.thestepcardcollection.com/