New York...here we come!

NEW YORK: HERE WE COME!!
We’re down to five days before we leave Miami for the National Stationery Show in New York. Our booth components and printed cards are already on the way and will hopefully be there waiting for us in our booth when we arrive (good luck to that!). Carmen (both wife and stepdaughter), Jeff, and I have worked tirelessly to put the booth together. I must say, it looks pretty impressive. My sister, Hildy, did an unbelievably professional job putting together sample books for the booth and an incredible poster display for our submission into the new company best product contest. For those interested we presented stepcard # 1 (you can look it up at the Online Store). We’re very excited and hope to get some retail stores interested in the card line. New York, being such a huge stage, will give us a great opportunity to educate the public and let them know that greeting cards for stepfamily members are out there. We’ll also tout our FREE e-card website. We’ll be sure to take lots of pictures, which we’ll post when we return. Wish us luck. P.S., we got some press on Sunday in the Washington Post. It’s in an article by the reporter, Theola Labbe-Debose. You can find it here!

Stepfamilies in Australia

Stepfamilies today are becoming a prominent part of Australian family life. It is currently estimated that one in five Australian families is a stepfamily. All families need information, education and support. While resources for biological families are available in the community, services often fail to address the unique differences associated with stepfamilies. Stepfamilies Australia is a partnership between the Stepfamily Associations of Victoria, South Australia, Western Australia, New South Wales, Queensland and Tasmania, formed in July 2007.

Stepfamilies Australia works as a catalyst, adding value to the family relationships sector. The innovative work of its members takes a lead to break through myths and sends a message to the community that stepfamilies are complex and hard work, but also achievable, with support.

For more information, news and tips please visit the Stepfamilies Australia website!

GEARING UP FOR NEW YORK-installment #2

Just eight weeks away, we’re getting really excited about the National Stationery Show (May 17-20). We’re in the process of figuring out how to design our booth so we can best show off our card line. This show is the Super Bowl of card shows, and we need to introduce the public to stepcards. We’ve booked a hotel so we can walk back and forth to the venue. We’ve been told that the four day Show is intense and not to expect to do anything else in New York until the Show is over. We’ll be thrilled if we can get a Card Rep to carry our line and also if we can talk to Retailers who might put our cards in their stores. We know we need a “grass roots” effort to get our cards out there, and we’re in it for the long haul. We’ll keep you posted. To all our subscribers and supporters, thanks for your help.

Carmen & Dr. Rick

Friendship - the hard times....

Friendship – the hard times

Sometimes friendship can be hard. Right now one of my best friends is going through treatment for cancer. Six months of treatments every other Monday…we go, we sit, I work, I read or just kill time while mostly she sleeps (thankfully). But this is what friendship is all about, not just the good times and God knows we’ve had lots of those, but the bad times too. She needs me, I’m there, just as she would be (or has been) for me…boyfriends, marriages, divorces, parties, vacations, work outs sickness, death we’ve done it all and will do this…whatever it takes…we’re friends...best friends.

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving Is Next Week.Thanksgiving is 10 days away. I guess it means alot of different things to us, depending on how we grew up and the importance our families put on this holiday, and holidays in general. I have alot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful family and few, but close friends. I have relatively good health and a stressful life that I can manage OK. With the economy, money is tight, but we’re all in the same boat. For me, I try to be thankful all the time, and I try to celebrate my life (and my luck) everyday. I try not to be envious of others, and I try not to look over my shoulder and say “What if” (I’m not always successful with that one!). This is a time of the year for celebration and reflection. I try to do both. I hope this Thanksgiving and the entire holiday season is good for you. As in life, it is what you make it. I’m making mine good!
Dr. Rick

Fear of Failure

I’ve met many people who talk about fearing failure. Some discuss this in terms of their family and the lessons they learned growing up; some talk about feeling anxious when they must perform, whether at work or in their personal lives, without a “safety net;” others fear the disappointment, sadness, frustration, or even ridicule, that may accompany failing at something.

There are two ways fearing failure may affect us. In the negative sense, sometimes people fear failing to such an extent that it immobilizes them. Instead of energizing themselves to try something, they are so wrought with fear that they can’t move at all. On the other side, some people fear failing and it motivates them to concentrate harder, work more diligently and effectively, and ultimately succeed. Most successful people in our society fear failure, but use it as a motivator. They don’t like or want to fail, and so they avoid it at all costs.

How does the concept of failing affect your life? Does it motivate you or scare you to death? Let me know.
Dr. Rick

No Brandy Bunch!

NO BRADY BUNCH.

I was watching one of the YouTube feeds that comes up periodically right here on the Step-Forum. It was Ron Deal from http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/ talking about how the “Brady Bunch lied,” meaning life in a stepfamily isn’t always smooth and cozy. It’s true, the Brady Bunch had their share of mishaps and misadventures, but come on, sometimes our house can be a real battleground. I think he is just trying to paint a true picture. In the long run Ron’s point, however, is that all of us in our stepfamilies do a lot of stuff right.

We need to build on the good things—the foundation of love and caring that is mostly there, but sometimes hidden by real life problems and conflicts that can be resolved if we use what works and not what we know doesn’t. I’m guessing that there’s an inherent good in most of us and that leads to a pretty good first STEP in making our families better and happier.

Dr. Rick

A Tribute to Mothers

May 11th is Mother’s Day this year. Let’s face it, most mothers deserve praise all year round, but rarely get it! Manytimes their deeds are taken for granted, and their family commitment and dedication is unmatched. In today’s society many mothers are part of the workforce outside the home as well as within it. Their jobs are usually extended way beyond the 9 to 5 timeframe. We do things to please our mothers and elicit their acknowledgement and recognition, but do we reciprocate?

Time is short and precious. Be sure to say and do what’s necessary to make the relationship with your mother a significant one. Now if you have a stepmother, too …....Happy Mother’s Day!

Dr. Rick

Hey Stepfathers!!

Hey Stepfathers! What happens when everything seems to be going smoothly in the family, then all of a sudden you get ganged up on when your opinion differs from theirs? (in my case by my wife and stepdaughter--aka the Gilmore Girls).

Sometimes I really feel like I see their point of view, but it doesn't make sense to me. Then again, it's two to one! Kinda makes you think--am I really off base or are they just the 'Home Team". I don't necessarily want to figure this out, I just want to be comfortable with it. I thought it might change over time, but as we all get older I think we all get more opinionated. Maybe that's okay.

Dr. Rick

Easter's Right Around The Corner

Easter is early this year so preparations for the holiday have already begun. I wonder if your family is planning a big dinner? I know that in past years my family had to make arrangements to coordinate meal times, accomodating the childrens' attending our dinner and their biological father's family dinner in the same day (talk about calories!). My stepchildren are older now so they can work this stuff out for themselves, but when children are younger and they need to be taxied back and forth on occasions like this, it can get complicated. Of course, the bottom line is that each family, old and new, gets to spend important time together. But, I certainly remember how hectic is was for us. Hope you all have a happy Easter. FYI, Passover begins on April 19th. Different religion, same story. It's amazing how alike we really are!
Dr. Rick

Are my feelings legit?

I wonder how many children have experienced this situation in their families? Your parents were divorced when you were young and you have been living with your Mom since the split. Your Dad's visits with you started out pretty regularly, but have gotten less and less frequent over the years. Maybe he got remarried and has a new family or maybe the interest is lower. Who knows? Your Mom married this new man a few years back (your stepfather) and it's turned out OK. In fact, your attachment to him is getting greater than your attachment to your biological Dad. Does this present a problem for you? You know--loyalty, commitment, jealousy on either of the Dad's parts? I just want to say that any of these feelings are legit.

Tell me how you're feeling about this. Let's see if we can get a dialogue going with others in this situation.
Dr. Rick